I never did tell you
by BlackMagicBlade
Summary: Yami left after the Ceramonial Duel over two months ago. Yuugi is devastated and has resorted to cutting to ease his pain. But what happens when Yami returns?
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: Wow I can't believe I'm finally writing a story. If you didn't catch that, this is my first story so please take it easy on me, but if you feel like giving me a review, then please criticize my work. Sounds strange, but I need to know what needs improving. And now the disclaimer. Oh and by the way, there will be yaoi in the future just as a warning to all those who don't like that.

Yami: Do I have to?

BlackMagicBlade: Yes, or I'll leave you in the afterlife.

Yami:BlackMagicBlade does not own Yu-gi-oh in any way. She only wishes she did.

BlackMagicBlade: Thank you Yami.

BlackMagicBlade: Now on with the story, and I am sorry for making Yuugi so depressed. He will get better in the next few chapters(at least I hope he will because I haven't written them yet).

* * *

Yuugi sighed as he glanced over his shoulder to see, yet again, nothing. This had been going on for over two months now, he would look over his shoulder thinking he had caught a glimpse of the once spirit of the Millennium Puzzle... and see that it was a figment of his imagination.

"Why did you have to leave Yami", Yuugi whispered sadly to himself.

He still couldn't believe that he had beaten the once pharaoh in the Ceremonial Dual, it was all a blur to him. But the thing he remembered the most clearly was the way that Yami had looked as he had walked through those doors, like he was finally going home. And who was Yuugi to keep him from his well deserved rest?

But that made no difference to the sorrow Yuugi still felt when he remembered the spirit he had once shared a body with. He hung his head and continued trudging to the Kame Game Shop.

"Hello Yuugi", his grandfather greeted him as he walked through the door.

Solomon studied his grandson for a moment, taking in his black leather pants with buckles and straps all over them and his black tank top under his school jacket. He sighed inwardly as he also took in the shadows under Yuugi's eyes and the way the clothes hung off of him.

Yuugi had always been small, but in the last two months, he had lost a lot of weight. Solomon was worried about his grandson, but he knew that there was nothing he could do, that only time could heal the wounds that had cut Yuugi so deeply.

"Good afternoon Grandpa", Yuugi answered, trying to add enthusiasm to his broken, tired voice, but at the same time being aware that he failed pitifully.

"I'm just going to get started on my homework..." Yuugi trailed off, glancing wistfully at the staircase from the corner of his eye. He didn't want to talk, he just wanted to be alone.

"Dinner will be in about a half an hour, alright?" Yugi looked uninterested and muttered, "I'm not really hungry so if you don't mind I'll just skip dinner tonight."

Solomon frowned, but slowly nodded his consent and Yuugi bolted up the stairs. Once Yuugi was out of sight Solomon sighed, he wished there was something he could do for his grandson. But he could only watch as Yuugi struggled with his sorrow.

Yuugi shrugged off his book-sack without a second thought, he had no homework, he had done it all in school at his lunch period.

Even though he still sat with his friends, he never joined in to there conversations, he just finished homework or read a book. He didn't even eat anything. His friends were all worried about him, but, like his grandfather, they understood that time would be the only thing that could help him, so they let him mourn undisturbed. They didn't know what else could be done for a person who had lost a piece of their soul.

Yuugi sat at his desk and stared out of the window, it had begun to rain he saw to his delight. He loved to watch the rain, it was soothing to him. But not as soothing as the relief that he would feel in a few minutes. He gazed at the gray clouds and blowing wind for a few more precious moments before shaking his head and leaning over to open the bottom drawer of his desk. He rifled through the papers there and soon his hand hit something soft and smooth. He drew the item out and removed the leather casing that was protecting his most prized possession of the moment.

His knife. He had bought it at the market one day soon after Yami had left. It had a black onyx handle and a polished silver blade. Beautiful and deadly sharp, it had been used so many times to take away the pain the only way he knew how.

Cutting.

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**BlackMagicBlade**: Sorry I know that was very short, but I want to see if this idea will even catch on, so if I can get, lets say 5 reviews I will definitely continue. Again sorry, but I am lazy and hate typing so I need it to be worth it if I do. So please review.


	2. Chapter 2

BlackMagicBlade: Okay, since I got a few reviews, I decided to update. As of writing this I have three, but it's enough for me even though I said five. So please enjoy. And I do not own the song Last Resort. Well it's on my iPod, but you get my point.  
Yami: (Gives BlackMagicBlade a death glare) You made Yuugi do what!  
BlackMagicBlade: (says under her breath) Oh hell he's really going to hate me after this chapter.  
Yami: (looks at Blackie suspiciously) Why?  
BlackMagicBlade: (nervously) Oh you'll see soon enough. (inches away)

Yami: (eyes widen as he begins reading) Oh you are so getting sent to the Shadow Realm!

* * *

Yuugi removed his school jacket and threw it on the bed. He stared lovingly at his blade for a moment then began examining his arms.  
He grimaced at what he saw, pale white skin decorated with scars. Nearly every inch of skin had a scar, Yuugi had been a bit crazy when he had first started, he had made twenty cuts his first time, two weeks after Yami had departed. He could still remember exactly what he had said.

_Flashback_

_Yuugi let the tears stream down his face as he drew the knife across his skin slowly and carefully. "I'm sorry Yami...", he sobbed, but as soon as the blade bit into the skin, his tears dried up. Wow, I never imagined it would feel like this, he wondered silently. All the negative emotions were swept away and he could think again. He filled his lungs with air for what seemed like the first time in two weeks. Yuugi could focus again, on something other than sorrow. But soon, far to soon, the emotions began to creep back in and overwhelm him again. He stared at the bloody line in his skin for a few more seconds in morbid fascination, know knowing what a simple cut could bring him, before he drew the knife across soft, unbroken skin again, and again, and again..._

_End Flashback_

Finally, he found a fairly clean spot, but before he made the cut he said, as he had every time before,"I'm sorry Yami, but I can't bear it without you. Even if I never did tell you... but still, just your being here was enough." Yuugi sighed, and in a flash drew the knife across the skin. The cut was cold, precise, and practiced.

It was shallow, but he pinched the area around it to make even more blood rise up before he licked it off. He half sighed, half moaned at the release. All the pain, the sorrow, draining out.

But he needed more, had to make the clarity, the sensation of feeling something last longer, so he drug the knife across his skin again, this time slower, savoring the stinging burn, then the gentle throb of the two new additions to his collection.

He went to the bathroom across the hall, rinsed his knife off and slid it into his pocket, hilt facing down. Then he grabbed the first-aid kit and bandaged his arm. Carefully placing the kit exactly where he had found it he checked himself for any stray blood-spots, walked back to his bedroom, grabbed his iPod off his desk, sat down and put his earphones in. The first song that came up was called Last Resort by Papa Roach, a new song Yuugi had downloaded soon after Yami had left.

_Cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort._

_suffocation, no breathing, don't give a f*** if I cut my arm bleeding._

Yuugi smirked at this and let his mind shut itself off for a while, allowing him to lose himself in the lyrics.

_This is my last resort._

_Cut my life into pieces, I reached my last resort, suffocation, no breathing._

_Don't give a f*** if I cut my arm bleeding._

_Do you even care if I die bleeding?_

_Would it be wrong would it be right? If I took my life tonight, chances are that I might._

_Mutilation outta sight. _

_And I'm contemplating suicide. _

_(Chorus)_

_'Cause I'm losin' my sight, losin' my mind, wish somebody would tell me I'm fine._

_Losin' my sight, losin' my mind, wish somebody would tell me I'm fine._

_I never realized I was stretched to thin._

_Till it was to late, and I was empty within. Hungry._

_Living on chaos and feeding in sin._

_Downward spiral, where do I begin?_

_It all started when I lost my mother._

Yuugi thought at this,'It all started when I lost my Yami, wait _my _Yami. When did that happen? Well, actually, it had happened before he had even left. Its been a while since I've thought about him like that, I just had to stop calling him that in my mind in case he heard me.'

_No love for myself, no love for another, searching._

_To find a love upon a higher level, finding nothing but questions and devils._

_(Chorus)_

_'Cause I'm losing my sight, losin' my mind, wish somebody would tell me I'm fine. _

_Losin' my sight, losin' my mind, wish somebody would tell me I'm fine._

_Nothing's alright, nothing is fine._

_I'm runnin' and I'm crying._

_I'm crying. I'm crying, I'm crying._

_I can't go on living this way..._

At these words Yuugi noticed the time on the clock in his computer.

He sighed,"I'd better go help grandpa make dinner", he mumbled to himself as he shrugged on his jacket. He plodded down the stairs, and into the kitchen.

As he gathered the ingredients for the pasta his grandfather wanted he mused to himself,' _Why haven't I committed suicide?_'

The first thought that popped up was that it would hurt his grandfather and his friends, but he quickly shoved that thought aside.

'_That _is_ part of it, but the main reason is because I still hope that I can somehow see Yami someday. I have to die a natural death to get into the Afterlife... so I have to keep living. For Yami_,' he thought sadly.

As soon as dinner was finished cooking, Yuugi excused himself and went back upstairs. He showered, put on his pj's and soon fell into a dreamless sleep as he always would. But every day when he would wake up, he would wish that he had dreamed, even if the dream had been a nightmare. Because anything would be better than the crushing darkness that waited behind his eyelids in his sleep and that followed him into the sun.

* * *

BlackMagicBlade: Sorry my chapters are short people, but I am trying to update once every day to two days on school nights. Homework sucks and I have a lot, but I will try to update frequently, so until next time.

Yami: (walks in) Oh no, there won't be a next time! (Sennen Eye flashes on forehead)

Blackie: (smirks and says smugly) But you forget Yami, I still have Yuugi and YOU ARE STILL DEAD! And if I feel like it I can leave you like that.

Yami: (hangs head in defeat) Just bring me back to my aibou. Please?

Blackie: (softly smiles) Well since you said please...

Please review. The more reviews I get, the more I want to update. You make me feel guilty if I don't. And sorry the last chapter was so short, I'll try to make them longer from now on, but don't forget, this is my first time so I'm still learning the ropes.


	3. Chapter 3

BlackMagicBlade: Alright people, new chapter! Yeah!  
Yami: Did she have too much sugar or something?  
Yuugi: (bounces into the room) Yeah sugar!  
Yami: Oh no, this can't end well.  
BlackMagicBlade: Read the chapter, read the chapter.  
Yami: Are you sure? You know what almost happened last time.

BlackMagicBlade: Yes! You're in it this time. And Yuugi would never let you send me to the Shadow Realm.  
Yugi: (picks up papers and begins reading) I wouldn't be so sure.

A big thanks to all who reviewed my story! Without you, I would not continue, so thanks : )

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_Afterlife _

Atemu sighed as he looked out over the balcony just outside of his chambers. He was finally home in the Afterlife with all his family and friends that he had been apart from for so many years, so why did he feel like something was missing? His thoughts rolled back to his days in modern day Japan, to his new friends, Tristan, Joey, Tea, Isis, Malik, Ryou, and...

"Pharaoh," a powerful voice rang out behind him and Atemu instantly turned and bowed at the sight before him. His gods, Ra, and... Anubis? What was he doing here? What were any of them doing here? They all smiled as if hearing this.

"Rise my son, there is no need for that," Ra said with a sigh. Atemu rose and his forehead wrinkled in confusion. Seriously, what were they doing here. He decided it would be best to wait and see what they wanted.

Anubis decided to lift his confusion. "Young pharaoh, we are simply here to ask you why you are so unhappy here? You have waited for over three thousand years and yet when you enter all you do is sigh and act depressed."

Atemu looked down in embarrassment, he hadn't meant to be so obvious and noticeable in his moping. "I apologize for acting so unappreciative, it's just that..." He trailed off, not wanting to name the real reason that he had told no one, a conclusion he had only reached after entering the Afterlife.

"Yes Atemu," Ra prodded, he knew what the pharaoh wanted to say, but also wanted him to admit it for himself.

Atemu blushed, something uncommon for the proud young ruler. "I... I miss my friends in the present day world," he admitted quietly. He was afraid the gods would be angry at him for this, he, by all means, should be happy to be where he belonged. Even if it didn't feel like it was where he should be.

Ra smiled,"Thank you for admitting it pharaoh, but is it truly your friends you miss, or is it your former host?" he questioned gently.

He decided to be honest and save him the embarrassment that might come with an attempt to lie to the gods. " I miss them all, but it is mostly Yuugi," he said with a sigh.

Anubis decided that it was a good time for him to reveal why he was present. "Atemu, if given the option, would you return to Yuugi, but this time, with your own body?"

Said Pharaoh's formerly downcast head flew up in surprise and shock. "But why?" he asked, purely out of shock of what the god of the dead had just asked.

Ra answered," You never were able to live a full life here, having to give up your childhood at such a young age to rule. We are giving you an opportunity to live the life you should have had ...and find love where it did not exist before.

His eyes widened. The gods chuckled at his expression. "Yes Atemu, we know of your feelings for young Yuugi Mouto, and we are giving you a chance to act on them. Do you accept, or decline our offer?" Anubis asked with a stern face, but humor danced in his eyes.

"YES," the normally quiet and reserved teen shouted. His eyes were desperate and anxious, he wanted to see his little hikari _now_.

Ra laughed," I thought that would be your answer. Anubis, if you would..."

Anubis stepped forward and touched Atemu's forehead. In a flash, he was sent spinning back to the present day world, and landed on a heap on Yuugi's bed.

"Ow," he complained as his leg hit the bedpost. He gathered his bearings and silently wondered, _where is my little Yuugi?_

He glanced at the clock, Oh, he must be in school now. _No matter, he should be home soon_, Yami thought happily. He could finally hold his little light close and tell him how he truly felt.

_But what if Yuugi does not feel the same way_? the annoying little voice of doubt in the back of his head whispered.

Yami frowned, he hadn't taken that into consideration. Perhaps he should go about acting as he had before he realized his true feelings for his angel, and slowly act more and more 'friendly' towards the little light and hope that Yuugi would catch on.

_Or you_ _could just ask him out,_ the other voice said. _If he does not return your feelings he will tell you and you can move on_.

Yami sighed and decided to spend the rest of the afternoon trying to decide how to tell his secret love of his hidden feelings for him. Hopefully he could devise a decent plan before Yuugi arrived back at home from school. He smiled and began wandering the house to see in anything had changed since his departure. Walking over to the kitchen, he ran his fingers over the cold stove-top and shuddered, remembering the time that Yuugi had attempted to teach him to cook. It had gone horribly of course, but they had laughed forever about it and spent nearly an hour afterwards cleaning up the kitchen and sifting patches of flour out of the other's hair.

A small laugh escaped his lips, he and Yuugi had always enjoyed each other's company and hopefully nothing had changed since he had left. Of course, he knew that his little one would be a bit different, after all, time had not stopped for his angel when he had left, life had gone on for him. Yami frowned, what if Yuugi had found someone else to love whilst he had been gone. He shook his head; even if Yuugi was with someone else that didn't mean that Yami didn't still have a chance. If he had to fight for his hikari then he would fight with all he had.

Nodding his head in satisfaction at his decision, Yami decided to re-familiarize himself with the house he would hopefully, with Grandpa's permission, be living in from now on. He walked to the bathroom and started to mess with his hair in the mirror, trying to slick down the crazy points. He wanted to look nice when Yuugi saw him so he decided to simply brush his hair and practice what he would say to Yuugi when he came home. With any luck, things would go smoothly and Yuugi would be understanding if not accepting of his feelings. And Yami hoped to the heavens that his little one would feel the same way about him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Azrael**: Hey there people!!! (notices rotten fruit in their hands) Please don't kill me!!! (angry mob comes closer) I have a new chapter??? (stops and lays down fruit) Wow... thanks for not throwing that at me, sorry it took so long to update, I got caught up in writing a few other stories, inspiration can be a real pain sometimes. I needed it for this story, but instead I start writing other stories. Well here's the next chapter, hope you like!!! :)

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_Yuugi_

Yuugi sighed as he walked home, looking dejected and hurt. Every day the same thing, the same boring routine, same practiced facade he put on every day. Oh his friends knew he was hurting, but no one really knew how bad it was for the brokenhearted teen.

He pushed the door open with a tired shove and walked upstairs with his head hung low. He needed a cut and he needed it now. He had had a rough day, he had been beaten up twice and shoved around quite a bit. He walked past the bathroom, not even noticing the pharaoh in it, examining the mirror, and stalked into his room and dropped his backpack.

His grandfather was out of town for a few days for a gaming convention and Yuugi saw no need to even close the door, seeing as he should be the only person in the house. Yami heard the backpack drop and walked over to the door, curious to see what his little light was doing.

Yuugi removed the knife from his drawer and shrugged off his jacket, but left it draped over his shoulders so his arms and the knife were blocked from Yami's view. He began to slice into his arm, making shallow cuts that barely bled, but he could make twenty of these and not lose to much blood or have to worry about staining his clothes if the blood seeped through the bandages. All Yami could see however was his hikari hunched over and moving his arms about under the jacket.

_Yami_

'_What is Yuugi doing?'_he wondered silently. He had never seen his tenshi do anything like this before. His brow creased in consternation and took several steps into the room. He gently called to the teen, "Yuugi?" Said teens head snapped up as if waking from a bad dream, but didn't turn around. '_Why is he not happy to see me?'_ the once spirit wondered worriedly.

Yuugi panicked, he knew that voice anywhere, but how!?!? How could Yami be here??? He had to do something before the Egyptian came any closer and got a look at his arms...

He frowned at his hikaris lack of response, but his face brightened when he saw Yuugi pull his jacket on and turn around slowly. His beautiful amethyst gems widened as they took in Yami, body and all. "Yami?" he asked, afraid this was all a cruel, evil dream.

"Aibou," Yami whispered as he strode towards his love. He cuddled Yuugi close in a hug and buried his head in the shorter mans hair. So soft, so sweet... so perfect. He swore he would never let his hikari go ever again.

_Yuugi_

Yuugi's mind was racing, and his body was trembling. "Yami, why are you here," he asked, scared that his yami would leave him again. He didn't think he could survive if he left again. After all, he was barely making it now...

"I came back because the gods saw that I was unhappy and allowed me to come back and be with you," Yami said with a soft smile, one only Yuugi ever saw.

"So you're here to stay," Yuugi stated carefully, he was still wary that the pharaoh would leave.

" Until you tell me to leave," Yami assured smoothly, a smirk now gracing his tan, angular face. He was confident that his Yuugi would never wish him away.

"Oh Yami," was all Yuugi said, now reality began to set in, along with a sense of panic. What if Yami saw the scars? Found his knife? What would he tell him?

No, he wouldn't see. He would never see them if it was the last thing Yuugi did. He needed Yami and he could keep a secret. After all, he had kept it from his friends for all that time, he would keep doing that.

Yami would never see. He would dispose of his knife and buy cover up for his arms. He cringed slightly at the thought of having to buy make-up, but who cares? Its not like he didn't have to buy his eyeliner every once and a while. And it would be worth it in the end. No one would see the scars and eventually, they would fade. Sure it would take a few years, but he could do it. He would do it for his koi, his other half. Even if they were to only be friends, he still couldn't allow himself to hurt Yami, not after all they had been through, not after what Yami had done for him. Left the Afterlife for _him_, Yuugi couldn't believe the Pharaoh had missed them so much. Then again, maybe Yami had missed Anzu... after all she hadn't exactly been subtle with her flirting with his darker half.

Yuugi sighed internally, there was no way he could compete with Anzu, especially if Yami returned her feelings. She _did_have the advantage of being a girl, something a normal guy would look for in a lover. And he had didn't even know if Yami liked boys or not. This would be a major road-bump...

_Yami_

Yami leaned in and embraced the young one in a loving gesture. He cuddled his little light close and gentle rocked him. He had missed Yuugi so much... and he wasn't about to waste any time making his feelings known to his hikari. He lifted Yuugi's chin with two fingers, and for a moment simply stared into Yuugi's eyes. Dear Ra, he could melt in those gentle eyes!

But as he gazed deeper, he saw some hidden emotion, some deeply disguised feeling. Yami stored this bit of information away to ponder upon later, right now he wanted to be with Yuugi without thought, only love. He leaned in to touch his lips to his sweet aibou's...

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**Azrael**: Okay, I finally updated. Yeah me!!! But if you want another, then please give reviews!!! If I feel that people don't like this story, chances are I'll do one of two things. A- discontinue the story, or, B- end the story with Yuugi seeing Yami with Anzu against his will and Yuugi will kill himself before Yami can explain. I would rather not do that, but if I feel this story isn't living up to what I want it to I will. So please, review!!! :)

**Yuugi**: Please don't let her kill me!!!!! =(


End file.
